A Love Letter to My Younger Son on His 18th Birthday

My sweet Son the Younger (as I've always called you here),

You have always been the life of the party, quick with a joke, the one with unstoppable energy, and the boy with no nerve endings. When you were three, you broke your foot. You didn't cry, but you crawled home. The next day, you were running on it -- no pain evident on your smiling face.

Now, you enjoy a wide circle of friends. I know a lot of parents complain about their kid's friends, but I like your friends. They're intelligent, ambitious, opinionated, and fun. I enjoy your friends, and I love to see how happy you are with them. Does your choice of friends say a lot about you? I like to think you've chosen wisely, that a few of these are people you'll keep with you for a lifetime.

Soon you'll leave for college. I joke about the party I'll have when you move out, but you're my baby. We're close, and I'll miss you, even if you go somewhere close by. We won't have late night talks (about important stuff, or about nothing at all), we won't have TV-thons, we won't fight when I want to hug you and you pretend not to let me. Texting really isn't quite the same thing. I've always loved you, but I like you too, and I'll miss you.

Today you're legally a man. I've told you that you'll always be my baby -- and you will -- but I'm so proud of the man you're growing into.

I love you, son. Go out into the world and give 'em hell.

Loving God: Good, Better, Best?

My small group recently finished a study called Morph, produced by my church. There are four modules, and we did the first one, called Love God. (If you click on the Morph link, you can create and account, view the content, and even print it for yourself.) I'm also reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love, which is life-changing if you're willing to allow it to be. And I'm trying.

After a pretty intense 8-week study, I had a sort of idea of how I was supposed to love God. And there are some people in my church who seem to do it pretty well. One friend, Karin, is one of those people who is LOUD in her love for God. She dances, she "AMEN"s in church, she writes of her passionate love for God on her blog.

Last night I was reading a chapter in Chan's book about people whose love for God outshines anything else in their lives. These are some crazy life stories. I asked God last night: why don't I love you like that, with that passion, that intensity, that fire? Help me love you more completely, God! Bring it on!

I got kind of a weird answer. Seems I'm not my friend Karin, and I'm not those other people either. I'm not wired like them; I'm wired just like me. My love may show in different ways. I'm not sure how that works yet, but I'm working on it.

While I was praying last night, and doing my best to listen to God instead of doing the babblebabblebabble that I'm usually guilty of, I heard Him... I heard Him tell me what I told you above. And then I heard a slightly different "voice," similar but different, that I knew wasn't God the Father. Somehow I realized instantly that this was the voice of Jesus. He told me that living with His love unleashed in my life doesn't tie me down; it unfetters me. It FREES me. I had this mental picture of shackles -- cuffs -- falling off my wrists and ankles. Then I remembered a well-known verse: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" (Phil. 4:13)

The next morning, when I woke up, I read the next chapter of Chan's book. In it he says that "our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,' and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.'" Um, W O W. Someone trying to get my attention?

There is power in these statements, in these promises, and we leave it lying there. We don't trust in God. We don't know that we can do all things, so we don't go into areas that require any more than our own puny strength.

I have one life. One. One life on this earth, and it's short. I don't want to settle. I don't want to forget the power that I've been freely given, the power that Jesus died and rose again to bestow on me.

God, please don't let me forget again.

Should The Church Play It Safe?

I'm glad I go to a church that doesn't, but I'm speaking here of The Church in a Biblical sense as Christ did, as His bride.

My church has been doing a series on sex, the rationale being that everyone else is talking about it; why shouldn't we? Topics were GodSex, MarriedSex, SingleSex, UnfaithfulSex, and SameSex.

That's right, we actually talked about homosexuality in church.

My church has a large homosexual population. We're a seeker church, modeled after Willow Creek (both original pastors came from there), and a lot of people who have been burned by church or who never set foot in church feel very comfortable there. The flip side is that we end up with a lot of messiness. [Tongue in cheek] I'm sure Jesus never had that problem Himself. [/Tongue in cheek]

For years, this has been the elephant in the room. It's a topic that's easy to mess up. You can alienate the gay population, or you can alienate people who see themselves as believing in Biblical truth. I would not have wanted to be in the shoes of my pastor yesterday. He restricted himself to a 15 minute talk, then interviewed three people from our congregation who struggle with same sex attration (two women and a man). Unfortunately, I can't embed the video, but you can click here to see it.

One of the staff members sent out an email asking people to wear a white t-shirt if they would commit to pray for these folks as they courageously agreed to be interviewed. She said she would be on the front row praying through all three services. I joined her on the front row for the last service. Hearing what these folks went through brought tears to my eyes. There was a lot of emotion in the room, even for the normally emotionless last service.

How does your church handle tough topics? Do you talk about them head on or shy away from them?

Life is Fragile

It's not like I didn't know that, but I got quite a reminder today.

After I'd been at work for an hour or two, my hubby called me. He'd been talking to some of my former co-workers (we're all still friends) and found out that the wife of one of my old managers passed away last night. She was young and it was very unexpected, and it leaves my former manager as the single father of their daughter.

I went by this afternoon to visit with everyone, and a couple of the guys had gone to see him over lunch. He's not going to be himself for a long time, I think. I wish there were something tangible I could do to lessen his suffering, but of course there's not.

On the way back to the lab where I've been working, I ran into an acquaintance whose wife died several years ago. He hadn't heard the news, so I told him and we talked for a bit. He and my old manager have been acquainted for years, but of course this is something he would never have wanted to have in common with anyone.

Never leave anything unsaid, folks. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Don't wait until tomorrow. It might not come.

Praying for Candi

I have nothing more important to say today than to ask you to click here and pray for Candi. The link will tell you her story in her words.

Candi is a friend of my sister's and has been for many years (since high school? junior high? a long time, anyway). She is facing a very serious surgery next Friday to drain and/or remove a softball-sized cyst from her brain.

Yes, you read that right.

Please pray for Candi's doctor, for her surgery, for her recovery, and for her family. I'm sure she will be nervous during the next week, and I know she wants your prayers and good thoughts.

If you'd like to leave a comment here for her, I'll send them to my sister and make sure she gets them.

Thanks, y'all.

Larry's Benefit, Part 2

I know I'm way behind on this post. I had such an exhausting weekend, and last week got away from me too. I want to talk a little about the actual day of Larry's benefit.

First I'd like to show you Larry's wife Susan (my hubby's sister). She's in the middle in this picture, flanked by two of her good friends. She's holding her son's football jersey, which may have been the signed one that was auctioned off that day; I'm not sure.

Yes, it was March in Houston, and yes, it was COLD. In this picture, Susan had just arrived, so this was prior to greeting, hugging and chatting with something like 400 people that day. It was a really long day for her. Good, but long.

This picture is one I've wanted for years. Our oldest nephew (son of hubby's other sister) actually looks more like him than our own sons, I think. In fact, he looks almost identical to my hubby at that age. Since my nephew has now grown a beard, it's even more striking.

You can't tell, but their eye color is the same, too.

This is Larry with several of his hunting buddies. His friends have really been great, very supportive.

There was a barbecue lunch (all food was donated, so proceeds went to the benefit fund), a silent auction, live auction, bake sale, t-shirt sales, jumping castle, even a cotton candy machine. Son the Younger manned the cotton candy booth all day, flagging down everyone who passed to buy some of the sweet stuff. His most interesting customer question: "Are there any carbs in this?" Ummmm...

There were lots of interesting items being sold in the live auction, including a signed Tom Brady jersey, two dirt bikes, a hunting trip to a turkey farm, and lots of other cool things. In a couple of cases, the donors of the items bought their own items back. Those are supportive friends.

Before we left the park at the end of the day, my niece Courtney, who put together the entire event, was playing with her daughter. I took a bunch of pictures, but this one was the most fun.

My apologies for the blurred pic below, but I wanted to include it. I tried all day to get a good one, and this was, sadly, my best attempt. This is my nephew Andrew (Susan and Larry's son) and his girlfriend, who is wearing his letter jacket. I tried to take their picture in the park but couldn't get a good one, so this one is in Susan's kitchen. I only wish it had come out better.

We hung out at Susan and Larry's for a while that evening with both families and stayed long enough to give Susan a short shoulder rub and chat with her and Larry for a bit.  It was great to catch up with them, since we're out of town and don't see them as often as most of the family does.

Larry has come a long way but still has a lot of progress left to make for a full recovery, and Susan has assumed all the responsibilities of caregiver, mom of teenager, keeper of the home, and probably four other roles while working full-time. The funds from the benefit will help a lot with the nursing care that Larry needs, which is a huge help. I can only hope that Susan gets some real and present help for some of her roles, and soon.

There but for the grace of God go I, and my prayers are with her.

Larry's New Web Site!

My niece Courtney is really the coolest ever. Anyone who has ever met her knows this.

She has recently proven it again by creating and committing to update (daily, no less! She may be a little nuts too) a web site for Larry so that everyone can know what's going on with him. My own paltry updates are here and here.

So if you want to read more about Larry, you may do so here. You can also see a couple of pictures of him and his beautiful family. It's always nice to have a face for who you're sending prayers and good thoughts toward, I think. Feel free to sign their guestbook to let them know you were there. I'll be sending them a link to my blog.

You know what? I have the technology. I'll just post my favorite of the pictures here for you. This is a shot of them after one of Andrew's football games. Susan is on the left; Larry is on the right.

Thanks again for praying, y'all.

Update on Larry, December 1

As my hubby left Corpus to come home, he called and gave me his last in-person update.

Larry's 24-hour cultures came back last night, and he's negative for everything. They had thought he had pneumonia, but he didn't, just stuff in his lungs, I guess, plus a fever after surgery. He also was negative for strep, staph, all the nasty bugs you worry about.

He is still on a ventilator (he was breathing on his own after the surgery), but hopefully they will be able to wean him off it within 2-3 days.

Yesterday, when he was asked to wiggle his toes, he picked his foot up off the bed. He didn't have sensation in his feet at that point, but this morning when Dianne (Robert's other sister) grabbed his big toe, she said she saw him react (obviously he can't talk, with the ventilator tube). Apparently motor control comes back before sensation.

Hubby said when Larry is ready to leave the ICU, he will be transferred directly to a rehabilitation facility in Houston, which will be much better for everyone.

He's doing as well as can be expected, but he still has a long road ahead of him, and Susan is understandably still very concerned about him and probably not sleeping well. Continued prayers for them and for their son (who visited over the weekend and headed back home this morning to go to school) would be much appreciated.

Please Pray for My Brother-in-Law

I know I owe you a book post, and there are at least three other posts I'd like to do, but today, I hope you'll forgive me. We've had a family emergency.

Last night, we got the late-night phone call everyone dreads. Our brother-in-law Larry (married to hubby's sister Susan) had been coming home from a hunting trip when he got in a bad car accident, fracturing his C5 vertebra (one of the ones in his neck).

He had surgery this morning, during which the neurosurgeon put plates in front and back of that bone, as well as relieving pressure on the other vertebrae. Apparently his discs were bulging on the C3, C4, C6, and C7 vertebrae (I hope I have that right). The doc relieved the pressure and found that as the surgery went on, Larry was getting a lot more nerve signal to his extremities. He had no brain damage and no other serious injuries other than his neck, but given the spinal cord injury, he's lucky to have survived.

After the surgery, as the family had been warned might happen, Larry was put on a ventilator (he had previously been breathing on his own). That was a tough setback for Susan, as I imagine it would be for any wife. I can't imagine visiting my husband in the ICU on a ventilator. Additionally, Larry has now developed pneumonia, so the next 24-48 hours are critical. They always tell you that, but it's so true. Larry really needs both his body and the medication to fight the pneumonia well, and quickly.

Larry and Susan have a son who is a senior in high school this year. Andrew is there as well, visiting his dad. Larry is responding to Andrew, even with the ventilator and the sedation.

I'll try to keep this post updated (or make new posts) as things change. I'd really appreciate the prayers and good thoughts of anyone who happens to be reading this.

Thanks, y'all.

Why I Remember 9/11 on 9/12

There was a lot of talk yesterday about "where were you when you found out?" and that sort of thing. I told my story then, at least on twitter, but it's not very interesting.

What's interesting is how 9/11 is redeemed on 9/12.

If you'll recall, the 11th was on a Tuesday in 2001, so the 12th fell on a Wednesday. My church was due to meet for our twice-monthly Wednesday get-together that night (we didn't meet every Wednesday, just the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of the month). For that meeting, the staff prayed about what to do. They knew people would be sad; they'd be asking questions of God.

Rather than trying to force something artificial, giving a talk that people might or might not relate to, microphones were placed in the aisles so that people could share their stories. Their questions. Their hope.

We ended with this.

Call me a radical optimist, but I'd rather recall the hope of this than the tears from the 11th -- the bonding and oneness that we felt then.

If only we could have held on to that one wonderful outcome longer.

The Power in Our Words

Have you ever thought about how much power there is in what you say to others?

I have, but I was reminded by a comment on a post on Antique Mommy's blog how much others' words can inspire, sustain -- or crush -- us.

Want examples? I have a few.

Example #1: the academic advisor

When I was getting my electrical engineering degree, I went to see my academic advisor. At the time, my children were four years (Son the Older) and nine months (Son the Younger), and we had just moved into university housing for married students.

After my advisor asked me a few questions about my personal life, he told me that I needed to go home and be a "good mommy" for now. He advised me that perhaps I could pursue an engineering degree once my younger son was in kindergarten.

I was dismayed. Floored. Upset. Angry. But I pulled myself up to my full (short) height and informed him, "I have been admitted to this university. I have moved into married student housing. I believe your job is just to tell me what classes I need to take to graduate, so why don't you do that?"

Understand, I do not ever speak to someone in a position of authority over me in that tone.

He did what I asked. And I remembered his words the entire time I was in school. They spurred me on and kept me from quitting many times when it was tough. And believe me, it's tough to get an engineering degree, and much more so when you pile on a couple of kids, a part-time job, and the fact that I was female. I'm not a whiner, but I had a few professors who clearly didn't want me there.

Example #2: the pastor

I once had a pastor who I looked up to a great deal, a man I respected and loved and worked with well. He told me two things that I will tell you about here, one positive and one negative. One I've tried to live up to, and the other I've tried to defy.

This man is a master storyteller. He can take any story, from the Bible or otherwise, and keep you enthralled for any amount of time. It is his particular gift. He has honed it from the stage, and I'm not sure I've ever seen his equal.

He once told me that I was a good storyteller. Coming from him, I would love to believe that's true. I should probably work at it, as he has, to make it so if I wish it to be true.

He also told me once that I wasn't creative. This was several years ago, when I wanted to be more involved in a creative area. I'm not sure why he said it, although it may be just a downside of the "engineer" label. In any case, a small part of the joy I find in my creative pursuits is showing that voice in my head that he's wrong.

Before anyone asks, yes, I've gone back and talked to this pastor. I've long since forgiven him. In fact, I'm thankful for what he said: it spurred me to do a lot of things I might not have otherwise done.

Have you considered the impact your words have on others -- your co-workers, your friends, your spouse, your children? What are the words in your life that have changed your course? Spurred you on? Made you better?

San Antonio Stuff... Part 1

I feel like writing one of those essays, like you'd write in the fall, "What I Did This Summer," only mine would be "What I Learned From Beth Moore in San Antonio This Weekend." I have purposefully kept away from the blogs of others that I know were there because I want to say what I want to say and not be influenced by the thoughts and words of others. I certainly want to know what everyone else thought, but I had to process my own head first, before I could write about it. And I am DYING to know what some of these other people had to say.

Let me start by saying that, unlike a lot of the women there, I wouldn't characterize myself as a huge Beth Moore fan. I've never done one of her studies, and I've read one of her books. I enjoyed it, but I really didn't know what to expect in San Antonio.

Let's just say that Beth goes to 11. If you haven't seen "This is Spinal Tap," and therefore don't get my reference, then go watch it. Or just watch the clip.

The conference was Friday evening from 7 - 9:30, and Saturday morning from 8:30 - noon. I can detail Beth's notes in a later post, but for today I'll talk about what I personally got out of it. Or the biggest chunk of it, anyway.

On Saturday morning, I had forgotten my notebook in the car and walked back out to get it during the worship time. Now, before anyone chastises me for missing Travis -- and I thought Travis was awesome -- I didn't know a single song until the very last one, so worship wasn't that great for me. I didn't figure I was going to be missing much by walking out to the car. As it turns out, it made the weekend for me.

As I walked out, I was praying for the event, for Beth, for the women, for the atmosphere, that God's Spirit would move in the hearts of everyone there. Then my mind wandered a little as I thought about the 10,000 women -- TEN THOUSAND -- that were there. I thought about Beth and her life in the spotlight. I thought about two of the wonderful bloggers that I had met the night before, BooMama and Big Mama. These two ladies had reserved seats on the front row of the floor seating, smack dab in front of the stage, since they blog for LifeWay and this was a LifeWay event. I thought about how they get 200 comments on a blog post and I get maybe 4. And I turned a little green.

Now understand, these are two ladies that I have looked up to for a long time. I love them, I respect them as people and absolutely as bloggers. I have wanted to meet them for a long time. I really don't get starstruck anymore since someone I consider to be a truly stunning musician came to be music director at my church, but in my secret heart of hearts these two are my pretend BFFs. I admit that I envy their blogging success, as much as I've cheered for them as it has happened for them. I admitted it to myself and to God on Saturday morning, and I'll admit it here.

And then on Saturday morning, I straightened my shoulders, and I told God, "I don't want Melanie's call for my life. I don't want Sophie's. God forbid, I don't want Beth Moore's. I want MINE. God, I want Your plan for ME, not for them." I prayed this all the way back in from the car, clutching my notebook.

What do you suppose Beth had to talk about that morning? She told the story of Stephanie Brown-Trafton, the Olympic gold medal winner in discus (and first U.S. women's discus medal winner since 1932). Stephanie grew up idolizing Mary Lou Retton, wearing a Retton leotard in her childhood. That didn't last long, since Stephanie grew to 6' in junior high school. She had to find her own way to be a world-class athlete, and clearly she has, with a stop in basketball along the way. The point of her story was to stop trying to be someone else. And it was the first story she told after God and I had our little talk.

Coincidence? Don't believe in it.

I did stop long enough after the event on Saturday to take a picture with the two Mamas before we all ran off in separate directions. From L-R, it's Boomama, me, and Big Mama (or Sophie, Lisa, and Melanie). Yes, I'm short.

I'm not there yet, but I'm working on accepting being just li'l ol' me, and not BIG SUCCESSFUL BLOGGER. God put me where I am for a reason. I'm certainly blessed to have been in San Antonio this weekend, and it was great to have met these two lovely ladies (and others -- more pics later).

God is good.

Sad and Scary Revisited

I know y'all (well, all two of you) can't want more of this, but this is my world right now.

My friend Kate had to go back in for an "adjustment" to her pacemaker. It seems the probes weren't quite in the right place, so they had to go back in and fix them up. She said she still feels pretty strange, but the doc thinks that may be due to part of her heart being worked out that's simply not used to it. My prayers for her heart and her health (and NO MORE SURGERIES if possible) are ongoing.

I can finally blog about the thing that happened, since Son the Younger is finally home from Germany (after a 24 hour delay).

Last Saturday night, hubby, Son the Older and I went out to dinner. When we got back home, it was time for us to play some scheduled World of Warcraft. Hubby plays upstairs and noticed that Jake, our dog, was lying upstairs. This was very unusual for him -- his hangouts are all downstairs. After a few minutes, hubby noticed that Jake hadn't moved, so he called his name. Jake tried to sit up but could only move his front legs. His breathing was very fast and shallow. So we called the emergency vet clinic to alert them that we were on our way and took off. Hubby and Son had to carry the 100-lb dog down the stairs, which didn't look at all comfortable for any of them.

Once the vet saw him, she diagnosed a ruptured tumor, either on his liver or spleen, with abdominal bleeding. She gave us two options: operate to stop the bleeding and remove as much of the tumor as possible, with a very high monetary cost and a life expectancy of probably 2-3 months IF the surgery went well -- and there was always the possibility that he wouldn't survive surgery, given his age (10.5) and how sick he was when he got there. The other option was the one no dog owner ever wants to consider.

As painful a decision as it was, we decided to let him go. Given that Son the Younger was in Germany, it was even more difficult. They gave us a private room where we were allowed to say our goodbyes, and then the vet came in, and Jake went peacefully to sleep. Cooing sweetly to my dog as he died so that he would have that small comfort (and not breaking down until he was gone) was truly one of the hardest things I've ever done. Watching Son the Older experience the same thing was just as hard. (Hubby, knowing his limitations, wisely elected not to be in the room.)

Jake has always been one of the sweetest dogs I've ever known. He's never known a stranger. In fact, if you'd just continue to pet him indefinitely, you could be his best friend forever -- he simply never tired of your love and affection. He was unfailingly gentle with children, no matter how they tugged or patted him. He greeted me every day when I came down the stairs, letting me know that I was the queen of his world. He was my dog, and I have missed him every day. I imagine that will continue for a long time to come.

In the latest twist of Sad 'n' Scary, I found out on Sunday that an acquaintance from church, Michael Argall, was killed in a bicycling accident on Saturday. I didn't know Michael well, but he had served with me on a production team several years ago as a camera operator. I know he had a really busy life -- he served in other areas; he was a divorced dad with three children; and he was very involved in fitness in his spare time -- but he always showed up to serve with a smile, served joyfully, and left with a smile. He ultimately found that he wanted to concentrate his time in other ministry areas, so I didn't serve with him for very long, but I enjoyed the brief time I served with him and have always thought fondly of him. I guess God wanted him back early. I know that pains his long-time girlfriend, his children, and so many people who love him (check out all the links I found talking about him).

What can we learn from Michael? Live life to the fullest. Live with joy every day. Know that you are not guaranteed tomorrow, and live that way.

Michael would probably be surprised at how many people are shocked, taken aback, in mourning over his death. I'm not; he was really a great guy. But like Michael, if you live you live to the full, you might be surprised at how many people you end up touching along the way.

Hey, Michael? If you can hear me, pet Jake for me, OK? Y'all go for a run -- you'll both love that. Give him a treat for me until I get there.

A Sad and Scary Few Days

Some weeks I just don't like the world as much as others. Today it doesn't seem very friendly.

A sad thing happened to me personally that I can't talk about yet; Son the Younger is in Germany on a school-sponsored trip, and although I doubt he's reading my blog while he's there, that's not the right way to tell him.

On Sunday night there was a goodbye party of sorts for our associate pastor, who is leaving the staff to go into the life / business coaching business. The event itself was bittersweet, but afterward I talked to a friend who made me cry by crying over my situation (she's a crier by nature; we kid her about it all the time). I got a call from her tough former Marine husband last night, and he was in tears: they had just gotten word that her beloved father had just died. Not unexpected, but still, very sad.

Also at the event, I saw a friend who had to struggle quite a lot physically to be there. Her issues are very personal, but she's had a lot of health problems over the last year, and they have peaked in the last month to the point where I wonder just where her breaking point lies. Because mine would have been before now in her life. I admire her strength, but I know that what she's going through physically and emotionally is beyond my comprehension.

We have some friends who were out of town for a family funeral last week (for her brother). Her mom had lost her father less than a month ago, and now her son in a tragic accident. I cannot imagine the pain of burying my son, ever, much less my father and my son inside a month.

And lastly, I just found out about another friend who has been hospitalized today. She had been suffering fainting spells but was trying to delay treatment until next week when her family's insurance coverage kicks in. Her husband took her to the ER, where they determined she has a heart blockage and will need a pacemaker. She is now in the ICU awaiting surgery.

These aren't women I know casually; these are dear friends whom I love with all my heart. My loss pales in comparison to their needs. My heart asks "why?" and "why all at once?" but I know there are no answers.

And so I pray for Kathy, for Jen, for Angela and her mother Susan, and for Kate. I ask God for mercy for all of us, even though we don't deserve it.

Abba, have mercy on us all.

Just Found Out...

Please keep the family of Steven Curtis Chapman in your prayers. You can leave any comments or condelences here. I cannot imagine their pain and grief, especially their son.

From The Tennessean:

Steven Curtis Chapman’s youngest child died Wednesday evening after being struck by a car driven by her teenage brother in the driveway of the family’s Williamson County home.

Maria, one of the Christian singer’s six children, was taken by LifeFlight to Vanderbilt Hospital, which confirmed the death, according to Laura McPherson, a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Highway Patrol.

The 5-year-old was hit by an SUV driven by her teenage brother, she said. Police did not give the driver’s name.

The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway of the rural home at about 5:30 p.m. and several children were playing in the area, McPherson said. He did not see Maria in the driveway before the vehicle struck her, she said.

“It appears to be a terrible accident,’’ McPherson said.

No charges are expected, she said. The accident was witnessed by two other children; the entire family was home at the time, McPherson said.

Singer/songwriter Chapman, who recently was inducted into Music City Walk of Fame, is one of contemporary Christian music’s most recognizable and most awarded names.

He and his wife Mary Beth have long been supporters of international adoption, having brought three girls from China into their family. Maria was the youngest.
The couple is so active in the cause that they formed an organization, Shaohannah’s Hope, to aid families wanting to adopt.

Timing...

Sometimes God's timing makes me laugh. Or cry. Sometimes both in the same day. It's been one of those weeks this week.

You'll love this because I'm not really going to go into specifics, but my past has reared its ugly head multiple times this week and caused me to deal with it in a way I've refused to for years. Which, while it's a "Yay God!" moment, is exhausting. And having what's essentially an emotional brick to the face three times in one day is a little much. Not that I get to choose.

Interestingly, I'm on the planning committee for my church's women's retreat, and I'm not the only one going through some sort of stuff this week. With the retreat two weeks out it's not so surprising -- this sort of thing happens yearly to retreat staff -- but it's still frustrating.

Coincidence? Don't believe in it. I just hope God uses it to restore a relationship that I'd love to have back in my life.

In Case You Haven't Heard

There is a team of bloggers in Uganda for Compassion this week.

The list of blogs is here, but my favorites are of course BooMama and Rocks in My Dryer.

If you've never thought of your own staggering wealth by virtue of being born in a first-world country, please consider that if you own a home and a car, you are among the world's 5% wealthiest. Yep, you and Bill Gates aren't as far apart as you assumed.

Go look at some of the pictures and see how you and your family and friends aren't living. It's humbling. Then consider what you're doing with your wealth. Even if you don't sponsor a child through Compassion (and I have in the past, although I'm not currently), it's enough to make you look at your expenditures. Or just cry either at the poverty these children live in, or the joy on their faces despite their circumstances.

More Updates on Life, The Universe, and Everything

Here's the scoop on the good, the bad, and the ugly. You can decide for yourself which is which.

My sister's condition has a name -- it's Posterior Reversible Encephalopathy Syndrome, or PRES. Apparently the combination of a slightly premature birth, the not-quite-right epidural (resulting in spinal headache) and postpartum pre-eclampsia (that's high blood pressure to you and me) made her brain swell, giving her a monster headache. After googling PRES, I think she got off lucky -- no blurred vision, no seizures, and hopefully no permanent brain damage. Not that that will keep me from a little sisterly mocking from time to time, since I'm so glad to have her around.

She was discharged from the hospital today around noon, just in time for an appointment with a neurologist who is familiar with PRES. He told her that her headache likely has multiple causes, that they will monitor it over the next few weeks, and that she will recover. I cannot say what a relief all of that is. Plus, she gets to go home and settle in with her baby and husband and son, which is a huge relief to her too. Her mother-in-law has been an enormous help with David; they don't know what they would have done without "Meme." Three cheers for Meme!

~~~~~

I got a call back from HR Chick at Large Corporation today. She informed me that I'm not terrifically technical. You don't say! I'd love to know why employers keep telling me the first thing that I tell them -- or the first thing they should be able to read for themselves from my resume. Yes, I have an engineering degree, but I have done project management and data analysis for most of my career. Nowhere on my resume do I state that I have written code or anything similarly technical; I'll be the first to say that I'm a pseudo-geek, not the real deal. I thanked her for getting back to me quickly and reiterated that I'd be very interested in hearing about any project management or data analysis positions they have open.

And then I hung up the phone and I cried.

I know that it's business, not personal. I know that my identity doesn't come from a company; it comes from my Maker; He tells me who I am. I gotta tell you though, after a while, you just start to think that you're plain unlikeable. And that's the wall I hit today. Two weeks ago, I had interviews coming up with between two and four employers and had visions of multiple offers dancing in my head; today I'm still unemployed with no prospects in sight.

I'm reading another Donald Miller book, Blue Like Jazz. As I was getting ready to take Son the Younger to the doctor for a virus today, this passage leaped off the page at me and made me lose it again: "If we hear, in our inner ear, a voice saying we are failures, we are losers, we will never amount to anything, this is the voice of Satan trying to convince the bride that the groom does not love her. This is not the voice of God. God woos us with kindness, He changes our character with the passion of His love."

Coincidence? I don't believe in it.

Still

This is an idea shamelessly stolen from Antique Mommy. I doubt my list is as impressive as hers, but I loved the idea, especially around this time of year. Feel free to blog your own!

Still loving life, love, Jesus, Austin, my family and friends. And, to steal one from AM, my iPod.

Still missing my mom, four years after her death... although I'm much closer to my sister now than I was before.

Still wanting to write the Great American Novel (my secret for years).

Still praying for my sons to grow up to be happy, fulfilled men who love God and love people, regardless of whether that looks like what I expect it to look like.

Still not interested in politics.

Still looking for the perfect job. Or really, just a good one.

Still hoping God has plans for a good job for me!

Still enjoying melting glass with a torch in my garage and making beautiful jewelry from the result.

Still reading the Bible all the way through -- for the second time.

Still proud of having gone back to school to get an engineering degree, with two kids, while working, and getting a respectable GPA.

Still failing to establish a real workout plan of any kind, although I've lost weight during my time at home by eating less.

Still grateful for my family, my home, and all the hundreds of other blessings in my life every day.

So, reader, what are you still doing?

It's a New Year, All Right

The last few months have been eventful, to say the least. I thought I would get to the end of this year and sigh, "same old, same old," but it hasn't turned out that way at all.

Losing my job in early October certainly wasn't in the plans. And a few other life events were more than unexpected as well. I haven't called my faith into serious question or anything, but I'm floundering in several areas of my personal life. My marriage and my faith are solid, but pretty much everything else is feeling pretty shaky right now.

Son the Older turned in his application to Rice today, after several days of prodding and lots of dreaded essay writing. Now we wait to find out about financial aid. He'll also apply to Texas A&M as a backup. Here's hoping for a big scholarship for the first of my two bright boys. That's another big change coming up in a few months -- half of my nest will be empty.

BigMama wrote an amazing post on changes in the past year and welcoming the new year, with a couple of scriptures that really hit me where I'm living right now. She certainly said it more eloquently than I am. Go read hers. It's a little long but worth the time.