Let me start by saying that, unlike a lot of the women there, I wouldn't characterize myself as a huge Beth Moore fan. I've never done one of her studies, and I've read one of her books. I enjoyed it, but I really didn't know what to expect in San Antonio.
Let's just say that Beth goes to 11. If you haven't seen "This is Spinal Tap," and therefore don't get my reference, then go watch it. Or just watch the clip.
The conference was Friday evening from 7 - 9:30, and Saturday morning from 8:30 - noon. I can detail Beth's notes in a later post, but for today I'll talk about what I personally got out of it. Or the biggest chunk of it, anyway.
On Saturday morning, I had forgotten my notebook in the car and walked back out to get it during the worship time. Now, before anyone chastises me for missing Travis -- and I thought Travis was awesome -- I didn't know a single song until the very last one, so worship wasn't that great for me. I didn't figure I was going to be missing much by walking out to the car. As it turns out, it made the weekend for me.
As I walked out, I was praying for the event, for Beth, for the women, for the atmosphere, that God's Spirit would move in the hearts of everyone there. Then my mind wandered a little as I thought about the 10,000 women -- TEN THOUSAND -- that were there. I thought about Beth and her life in the spotlight. I thought about two of the wonderful bloggers that I had met the night before, BooMama and Big Mama. These two ladies had reserved seats on the front row of the floor seating, smack dab in front of the stage, since they blog for LifeWay and this was a LifeWay event. I thought about how they get 200 comments on a blog post and I get maybe 4. And I turned a little green.
Now understand, these are two ladies that I have looked up to for a long time. I love them, I respect them as people and absolutely as bloggers. I have wanted to meet them for a long time. I really don't get starstruck anymore since someone I consider to be a truly stunning musician came to be music director at my church, but in my secret heart of hearts these two are my pretend BFFs. I admit that I envy their blogging success, as much as I've cheered for them as it has happened for them. I admitted it to myself and to God on Saturday morning, and I'll admit it here.
And then on Saturday morning, I straightened my shoulders, and I told God, "I don't want Melanie's call for my life. I don't want Sophie's. God forbid, I don't want Beth Moore's. I want MINE. God, I want Your plan for ME, not for them." I prayed this all the way back in from the car, clutching my notebook.
What do you suppose Beth had to talk about that morning? She told the story of Stephanie Brown-Trafton, the Olympic gold medal winner in discus (and first U.S. women's discus medal winner since 1932). Stephanie grew up idolizing Mary Lou Retton, wearing a Retton leotard in her childhood. That didn't last long, since Stephanie grew to 6' in junior high school. She had to find her own way to be a world-class athlete, and clearly she has, with a stop in basketball along the way. The point of her story was to stop trying to be someone else. And it was the first story she told after God and I had our little talk.
Coincidence? Don't believe in it.
I did stop long enough after the event on Saturday to take a picture with the two Mamas before we all ran off in separate directions. From L-R, it's Boomama, me, and Big Mama (or Sophie, Lisa, and Melanie). Yes, I'm short.
I'm not there yet, but I'm working on accepting being just li'l ol' me, and not BIG SUCCESSFUL BLOGGER. God put me where I am for a reason. I'm certainly blessed to have been in San Antonio this weekend, and it was great to have met these two lovely ladies (and others -- more pics later).
God is good.